On the Brink
by mystic2182
Summary: Deleted scene from HCYBS... NathanHaley


The water was cool, a nice change from the humidity that had settled around the town like a heavy blanket. That was the only thought in Haley's mind as her body hit the pool, a loud splash following, along with the laughter of her boyfriend. Haley pushed herself to stand, wiping at the hair that was strung across her face and into her eyes, before settling a glare on him as he stood, completely dry, on the side of the pool, an evil grin on his face.

If she hadn't been so upset at being unceremoniously dumped into the pool, Haley might have taken notice at how Nathan's grin broke out into a full out smile, his eyes alight with laughter. It was a nice change from his quiet demeanor of the day, he had been distance and aloof all through school, and no matter how many times Haley asked him if everything was alright, he had given her the same answer. I'm fine. Fine. Nathan was fine. What the hell did fine mean anyway? Everyone knew "I'm fine" was code for "I'm anything but fine, and it's your fault." So that had left Haley wondering how things had changed so quickly, so fast.

It had been any other normal morning, her waking him up at 7 to get ready for school. She loved walking into his apartment, using the key he had given her only a few weeks ago, and finding him still sleeping, his body stretched out along the length of the bed. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. He looked so innocent while he slept, and that in itself was something to smile about. Nathan could hardly be considered innocent, in any form of the word. It almost made her feel bad for having to wake him. Almost. She smiled as she remembered the groggy look in his eyes before the lust and longing settled again. He was so cute when he just woke up, his hair all disheveled, often coming to a point on the top of his head, his eyes heavy, his smile easy. He was so unlike himself in those few minutes that Haley relished in being the one to see it, and maybe being the one that gave him that care-free look. She longed to touch him in those moments, getting wrapped up in the contentment that settled on her just by being near him. She stroked his chest teasingly, her fingernails grazing the nipple ring she had once found silly but now only found undeniably sexy.

Haley bit her lip then, remembering the feel of the small metal hoop under her fingertips, his heartbeat coming slightly faster under her palm. She had pulled back then, ready to let him get up and get ready when Nathan had other plans. Pulling her back to him, his lips met hers in a soft, lazy kiss, and Haley revealed in the attention his mouth gave hers, his tongue teasing hers, the taste of him, slightly sweet. How could he taste so good even with morning breath? She was certain if the roles had been reversed he would have force fed her mouth wash before coming within a 5 foot radius, but he somehow managed to make morning breath sexy.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a pair of strong arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her back against him. Looking over her shoulder at him, a glare on her face, she felt him begin to shake with laughter.

"What is so funny?" She turned in his arms, her hands resting against his chest, her face set in a stern glare.

"You are. You should have seen your face. You flying through the air! I don't think I've ever seen anything better. It was hilarious." He laughed again, a deep rumble underneath her hands, and Haley felt a traitorous smile spread across her face.

"Glad I'm so amusing." She pushed back slightly, feeling the water lap around them.

"Oh you are. But it was also kind of sexy, your hair all in your face, reminds me of this fantasy I had one time." His hands skimmed up her thighs before settling low on her waist. "In fact, we were in a pool just like this, only you weren't wearing a one piece, and I definitely wasn't wearing a swim suit." He grinned at her, making her laugh at his outrageous behavior, while fingering the strap of her bathing suit.

"Nathan!" She laughed as he dipped his head low to nibble on her neck, teasing at the soft skin below her ear. Her indignant cry was left dying on her lips at the feel of his mouth on her skin, her hands instinctively reaching up to wrap through the raven locks of his still dry hair. Angling her neck to give him better access, she felt his hands grip tighter on her hips, as she moved herself closer to him, feeling her wet upper body against his still dry one.

His mouth moved lower, biting at the skin of her collarbone, making Haley gasp, before raising his head up to meet her eyes. He gave her a flirtatious smile before taking her mouth with his own, his lips persistent against hers. Haley pushed back willingly, loving the feel of him against her, her past worries on his behavior gone. She lost herself in the sensation of him wrapped around her, his mouth pulling at hers, his tongue teasing. Her hands traced lazy circles on his chest as she pushed him back, her legs tangling with his, as her hands pushed against his chest sending him careening backwards into the water. She smiled triumphantly at the giant splash, before he shot up out of the water coughing.

"That was low." He shook the water from his hair, droplets cascading down his chest and arms.

"Low? That was hilarious. Oh honey, you should have seen it. It might have been the best thing I've ever seen." She mocked him, her eyebrow raised defiantly.

"Oh you think you're funny?" Nathan charged at her, causing Haley to squeal, running through the water slowly. She pushed through the water, damning the fact that she was short, as his long legs made it easier for him to glide through the water towards her. She was up in his arms in a matter of seconds, her back pulled tightly against his chest, her legs swinging in hopes of gaining some leverage.

"Nathan! Stop! I'm sorry. Put me down. Nathan!" She giggled and squealed, fighting against the strong hold he had around her middle, her legs kicking at his shins.

Nathan's arms only tightened around her, stilling her legs as she gasped at the contact. His hands tickled at her sides briefly before launching her through the air, and once again dropping her into the water. Haley came up sputtering, her eyes clouded by hair. She glared at him once more before splashing him hard in the face. The look on his face was priceless, complete shock before quickly turning to mischief. He splashed back with just as much force, giving Haley a face full of water. She fought back just as eagerly, her giggles bouncing off the walls of the indoor pool, their bodies coming closer and closer together until they were right in front of one another splashing wildly and laughing uncontrollably.

Nathan caught her wrist, stopping her in mid-splash and pulled her to him, kissing her soundly on the mouth, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip. Haley responded instantly, loving the feel of his damp skin against hers, pulling herself up against him, and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. Nathan's hands fisted in her hair, pulling on the silky strands, twisting them around his knuckles, as his mouth teased hers. She had never felt so overcome with love for him, the passion and lust swirling beautifully, tightening in her stomach, fluttering. Nathan seemed to understand her mood change, and responded in kind, pulling her with him as he moved backwards to sit on the steps of the pool, settling Haley on his lap. Normally Haley would shy away from this situation, as it usually ended with them both extremely unsatisfied, but tonight she was lost, caught up in the newly recognized love she felt for him, wanting to be near him, to touch him.

She had been so worried all day by his distant behavior. He was never rude or mean, but simply seemed to want to keep her at arm's length. It had been like that all day, and she had tried to ignore it for awhile, but as the day grew on she knew she wasn't imagining it. Her mind told her that she needed to find out what was wrong, clearly it had something to do with her, or at the very least he was letting it affect how he was with her, but in the end her heart won over and she simply tried to ignore the doubt creeping into her mind. Maybe he was tired of her, maybe his feelings had changed. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But his actions tonight in the pool spoke of an entirely different nature. He wasn't tired of her, and if his feelings had changed, they'd only grown stronger if how he was kissing her was any indication. She felt her heart pound loudly against her chest; maybe he loved her as much as she loved him. She lost herself again in the sensation of his mouth on hers, the cool pool water lapping around them in a steady rhythm, and Haley found herself drifting. It seemed that Nathan was everywhere, surrounding her, his breath hot against her cheek, his hands cradled possessively on her butt, his mouth spreading a liquid heat down to the pit of her belly. She felt powerless and at the same time, completely in control. This was the feeling of want, of lust, of love. This was what it was like to be completely enraptured by another person, to want to feel what they do. The intensity of it all had her pulling back, her chest heaving as she looked into his eyes dazed. His blue eyes locked on hers, as if trying to gauge her response apprehensively. His face was a void of expression, but in his eyes she saw worry. Worry that he had pushed her too far, that he had made her uncomfortable.

Knowing words were useless and that Nathan was a man of action she pressed herself forward and took his mouth completely. Her fingers gripped at his shoulders as her mouth coaxed his into a fiery response. She shivered under his hands as he stroked the skin of her back, and she smiled against his lips at the feel of his fingertips running over her new tattoo.

She had been impulsive, something that rarely occurred in the life of Haley James. Haley was nothing, if not overly cautious, and the tattoo had been a moment of recklessness, of freedom. Nathan always seemed to bring that side out of her, and when she had passed the tattoo parlor after work one day, something told her to go inside. Tattoos weren't for girls like Haley, girls who worried about the upcoming Spanish quiz, girls who knew the cafeteria lunch menu, girls who spent most of their time studying rather than partying. But she was no longer just that girl. She had become something else. Someone in love. Someone who knew how it felt to be in the arms of the man you loved, and who you hoped loved you back. Someone who knew what it felt like to have the trust of a man who you knew was there for you.

And that made her the type of girl to do something impulsive. Any other day and she was sure she would have passed that tattoo parlor without a second glance, but on that day something changed, shifted. She wanted the world to know she was in love with Nathan Scott. Logically, he should be the first to know, but there was something so wild and daring about declaring it for everyone to see, that Haley could not resist.

As she perused the walls of the shop, looking at the variety of Chinese symbols, roses, and cartoon characters, her mind raced. Was she really doing this? Was she secure enough in this relationship to permanently mark her body? Could she put herself through the pain of the needle to then only deal with the pain if she and Nathan weren't as permanent as the ink? She hesitated, her hand stilling on the picture of a generic "Mom" tattoo, as her mind flashed through all the variables. She could never be totally sure that what she was feeling was reciprocated by Nathan, but she knew, she knew that in that moment she couldn't question the what ifs. She was sure she loved him, and if she knew him as well as she believed she had come to, he loved her back. The words had not been said, merely moments and gestures to go by, but she knew she felt it. They were a couple in love, and so without any further delay she grabbed all the courage she could, and sat down in the chair.

She laughed at the idea of getting Nathan's name tattooed on her ass. It was such a cliché that she was sure that would solidify them breaking up. Everyone knew the minute you got someone's name permanently marked on your body that you were doomed. Were they doomed? Was she jinxing them to a break up by wanting to attach herself to him in this way? Even if she wasn't getting his name on her, she was putting his symbol, his number, forever on her back. She shook her head slightly, pulling herself out of the doubts once again before taking a deep breath and waiting for the sound of the needle. She was in love, and the tattoo was merely a symbol. She would forever remember the moment when she gave away her heart for the first, and if she had anything to say about it, last time.

She felt his mouth still on hers. His forehead pressed against hers as he kept his mouth pressed against the soft skin of her lips. She could smell his cologne, the strong scent of him as he moved his mouth to gently caress her cheek. She felt herself shiver at the contact and he pulled away to look in her eyes.

"You cold?" He looked concerned.

"Just a little, we've been in here awhile." She spoke softly, not wanting to leave the paradise of the pool but her body betraying her by rippling with another shiver.

He moved his arms up and down the length of her arms, before looking up at the clock. "Yeah, we've been in here for an hour. Time flies when you're having fun I guess." He gave her a small smile before moving her off his lap and pushing her up the steps and out of the pool.

She turned from him, rushing to put a towel around her, and when she turned back she saw his demeanor had changed. He had that look on his face again; the one he had worn all day, a look of apprehension and worry. Before she could ask what was wrong, he shook his head slightly before moving around her to grab a towel.

"We should head up." He spoke without turning around, grabbing his keys from the lounge chair, and walking to the glass door. Holding it open for her, she gave him a curious glance, as he avoided eye contact, and gestured her to keep moving up the stairs to his apartment.

Wanting to alleviate the new mood that had settled upon them, she gave him a playful slap on the chest. "I'll race you!" She sent him a wide smile and raced ahead, laughing at the sound of his heavy footsteps behind her. He never could back down from a challenge. She darted in his sliding glass door a second before him and moved into the kitchen, pulling the towel tightly around her waist. He moved passed her further into the kitchen, before finally turning his gaze on her.

"You hungry?"

"Oh, I'm hungry for you." She grabbed onto him playfully and felt him go rigid under her hands.

"No I'm serious. We could heat up something up or we could go out if you want to." He spoke uncomfortably.

"What's wrong?" She couldn't delay it any longer. He was back, that aloof, distant Nathan was back, and something had shifted yet again.

"Nothing I'm just hungry." He tried to shrug her off.

But she couldn't let it go, not again. "I don't buy it. Talk to me."

"What? I just don't feel like making out, that's all."

Haley laughed in spite of the situation. "You realize you just said that right? Since when?"

He took a deep breath. "Since you got my jersey number tattooed on your ass."

Haley felt the coldness rip through her. " Oh. Above my ass, actually." She paused. "Um, when did you see that?"

"This morning."

It all made sense now, his behavior, how he seemed to be struggling to be with her, but yet didn't want to be away from her. "Does that bother you?"

"I'm just confused as hell. I mean you'll do something that permanent but you won't have sex with me?"

"You can get a tattoo removed, Nathan. Sex is a really big deal for me."

"I get that. That's why I haven't been pressuring you into it."

"The way that you're not pressuring me now?"

Their eyes held for a long moment, both struggling, before he spoke, "I'm going to heat up some food." He shut her out, turning towards the fridge and rifling through it for something to eat.

Haley pulled her hands through her hair in frustration. This wasn't the way she wanted him to find out. It was true, sex was a big deal, but that didn't mean she doubted for a second how she felt about him. She was in love with him, even now when he was being distant. That wouldn't change anytime soon, and yes while the tattoo seemed impetuous, she knew it was the right thing for her.

Couldn't he see that the tattoo was her way of showing him how she felt, even if she didn't feel she was emotionally ready to take that next step with him? She was trying, trying to show him how much he meant to her, how much they meant to her.

She turned toward him then, gazing at his back as he continued to look in the fridge, and she struggled to find her voice. "Nathan?" she spoke hesitantly.

She saw him tense visibly, before mumbling a distorted, "Hmm?" in her direction.

Haley took a deep breath again, allowing herself to choose her words carefully. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me. I got the tattoo a couple of days ago, I'm not quite sure what possessed me to in that moment, but I did it because it felt right, and I won't apologize for that. I will, however, apologize if it sent you any mixed messages or if you feel I'm being unfair to you." She moved closer to him and reached out her hand to touch his back before pulling it away quickly.

He kept his back to her, but his stance had shifted. "You don't have anything to apologize for, Haley." He turned then to hold her gaze. "I'm just caught off guard by the whole thing, and I really don't know how to act now."

She gave a frustrated cry. "Why does anything have to change?"

He ruffled his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. Ultimately I guess it doesn't, but don't you think it should?" He looked at her, noticing the tears in her eyes. He moved forward instinctually. "Don't cry Hales. I'm not mad."

"You don't even want to touch me Nathan, how am I supposed to be okay with that?" The tears fell then, streaking out of her eyes.

"Hales, it's not about not wanting to touch you, but more wanting to touch you too much. I can't help but feel I've pressured you in some way, and that worries me. I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You don't make me uncomfortable. It's never been about that Nathan." She collected herself and pulled in a deep breath. "I think I should go." She grabbed her clothes that were lying on his couch, before beginning to walk down the hall to the bathroom. She shut the door behind her, willing herself not to cry. Why couldn't she just tell him? Tell him that she loved him and that she had gotten the tattoo to tell everyone that she was taken. She was in love, and she was happy, even if she didn't feel all that happy right at the moment. She hurriedly pulled on her clothes and walked back out to the living room, seeing Nathan in the same position she had left him.

He came towards her then, and pulled her into his arms, his heart pounding in his chest. "I don't want you to ever think that you don't matter to me. Because you do, more than you know. I just don't know how to act right now; I'm afraid that I'll do something or say something that will make you think I expect more from you."

Haley allowed herself to feel the comfort of his arms before pulling back. "You don't Nathan. You have to believe that. But maybe, for right now, I should let you figure some things out." She touched his face briefly and saw the conflicted emotions in his eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?" She gave him a watery smile and moved away from him to open the front door.

"Hales?" His voice stopped her and she turned back to face him once more. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but then struggled to rein in his feelings again. "Call me so I know you got home okay." He gave her a strong smile.

She smiled back and felt the mood begin to lift. They would be alright. "Sure," she said softly before closing the door behind her, hearing the soft click.

They might not have been able to admit it in that exact moment, but she knew they were on the brink of something bigger, something more. She could feel it, bigger than they were, stronger than them, and it would take them over the edge. Love.

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." –James Baldwin


End file.
